August 21, 2026

i want to fall in love (?)

I want to fall in love but I feel like im really not attracted to anyone. I think. IDK. The last time I had a crush (iirc) was in middle school but that genuinely lasted for like a week and then I just forgot abt it all. Maybe if i actually developed a connection to someone then maybe ill get a crush on them idk.

I feel really sad cuz I feel like im missing out on alot of stuff. All of my friends have been asked out at some point but something like thats never happened to me before. I know its cuz of my social anxiety but even my friends who are more socially anxious than me get approached lol. I dont feel a special connection with anyone tbh. Not with my friends or family or anyone.

I really do want to fall in love cuz i bet it feels really different from familial or platonic relationships. I feel really dissapointed with my friendships im ngl. I just want someone who can be both serious and funny at the same time when the situation is appropriate. All my friends are too unserious and they dont get the memo when im feeling sad. I know ur friends arent supposed to be therapists but it would be nice if someone could understand me and was good at comforting people. Once I start school soon, ill make the effort to approach someone because otherwise im never getting approached lmao.

Sometimes i really dont feel like a woman at all because i just cant relate to anything most women like or deal with. Like makeup, liking the color pink, wanting to have a perfect body/look pretty. But also things like getting hit on. I can never relate cuz I've never experienced that.

I really wish i couldve just been born a man sometimes.